


The Circus

by HGRising



Category: Football RPF, Real Person Fiction, Sports RPF
Genre: M/M, Reporters, crack!fic, fangirls posing as reporteres, the press
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-18
Updated: 2014-09-18
Packaged: 2018-02-17 20:52:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2322809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HGRising/pseuds/HGRising
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bastian and Lukas have something to tell the press. No one survives. </p><p>...Really important that you know this is a crack!fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Circus

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [新闻发布会](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3735928) by [gracefully insane (linlang7625)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/linlang7625/pseuds/gracefully%20insane)



> A/N: Hope you all enjoy this. It's pointless and plotless, and I can only hope that it's at least half true. You know which half.

**The Circus**

.

Just after the finish of the 2018 World Cup in Russia, Bastian Schweinsteiger and Lukas Podolski called for a sit down interview to announce some news.

It was rare for the reserved Bavarian to give interviews in general without being forced into it, so it had to have been important. With it being a joint interview with his long time ‘friend’ following the string of other high profile footballers coming out, there were rampant rumors immediately following the announcement. Everyone wondered if the two teammates were finally going to go public with it already, especially when they figured they’d do it years before when they’d broken it off with their significant others and stayed single long after.

So, the nosy reporters hounded their past and current teammates and coaches to get any piece of information they could to confirm their suspicions. And, after much badgering, they got the vague response that they supported them and had come to terms with it given how the two had been acting during the most recent World Cup.

Needless to say, each reporter was foaming at the mouth when the actual day of the interview came.

They leaned in, sitting on the edges of their seats, eyes on the calm looking pair of friends.

Adjusting the mic, Bastian folded his hands over the table and thanked everyone for coming.

“Just tell us already!” One impatient reporter yelled from the back. The others around her hushed her, but they too wanted him to just get on with it and confirm what they all suspected. For God’s sake, the love they felt emanating from the two of them each time they so much as glanced at each other up on the stage could fuel world peace.

“Can you just get on with it?! It’s not like we don’t already know!”

Disgruntled, Bastian glared at them for interrupting, but Lukas put his hand over his to calm him and remind him what they were there for.

Giving Lukas a soft smile and one last glare to the back, Bastian cleared his throat and put his hand over Lukas’. “Lukas and I have been teammates and friends for a long time...” He paused to fondly look over at Lukas who returned the same fondness back tenfold.

“Oh, _God_!”

“It’s already obvious. It is, isn’t it? Why are we even here?”

The two were killing them all, really. One of the reporters had fallen off his chair at the suspense and another fainted in anxiety.

“Closer than friends,” he corrected himself, pointedly ignoring the outcries.

A woman from the left snapped her pen, splattering the people closest to her with ink. But, no one noticed. They were so intent on not missing one word.

“And, after Brazil, we knew we couldn’t put it off any longer, especially with all the rumors. So, after much discussion, we decided that after the World Cup in Russia, we’d make it official.”

“ _Finally!!_ ” A lone soul cried out in front. She was already quickly jotting down words for her article, eyes locked on the two of them with a stupid grin on her face.

“Ignore her. Just say it!”

“Everyone, shut up! I want to make sure I get this!”

“As if you don’t make up half the crap you write about them anyway!”

“Screw you, we’re not the _Bild_.”

“Yeah, we’re the _Bild._ But screw you anyway. We don’t make anything up. We make suggestions.”

Scowling at the reporters for rudely interrupting, Bastian finally got fed up, which took longer than Lukas predicted. Quickly, Bastian abruptly announced, “Fine. Since we started together, it only made sense that we retired together. So, there. We're retiring. Interview over.”

The huge room fell silent for two seconds before it broke out in bursts of deafening outrage and flashes of cameras.

“Motherfu—”

“Are you serious?”

“What?”

"We waited too long for this, Schweinski. Fuck both of you."

“You can’t be serious. Is this a joke?!”

“What?!”

"You two are fucking with us at this point, aren't you. Come on, real talk."

“You called us here to tell us that?! You imbeciles!”

“Interview _over_ ,” Bastian repeated, getting up and motioning for Lukas to follow him.

“No. Wait. You two are staying there until we get this sorted out.”

“Fuck you,” he told them. He tugged at Lukas’ hand, fingers locking. “We’ve got somewhere else to be.”

“No, see. That right there! The fuck, guys. The fuck.”

“Yeah, what is that?!”

“Ignore ‘em, Luki. Let’s go or we’ll be late.”

" _Luki? Seriously_? Are you two even real?"

Almost in tears and on the verge of a breakdown, a female reporter yelled, “At least tell us where you’re going!”

Pitying the poor girl, Lukas paused and turned back, making Bastian turn back too. He didn't look happy, but he kept his hand intertwined with Lukas' as he leaned into the microphone.

Beaming, he briefly answered, “We have a flight to catch. Basti’s taking me back to Brazil for our anniversary.”

The girl immediately reacted with impossibly wide eyes. “Wait. _What?!_ ”

“You’re joking. You’re fucking joking.”

“Screw you guys. We’re done.”

“So fucking done.”

Per usual, the two of them ignored the outpouring of questions and exclamations as they got lost in their own little world where it was just the two of them walking hand in hand and staring into each others’ eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Just so we're clear, I'm the fangirl reporter at the end who's about to cry because seriously? Seriously.


End file.
